Sorry for the disappearing act. 😅
(Bad habits die hard)

A few weeks ago I started struggling again...I doubted myself because I wanted to get a job and I didn't get it.
'You're great, and we really like you, but the language needs to be better for this position'.

Of course, I took it as a personal failure; when rationally I had no real reason to take it so badly: it's only been 3 years, and Dutch is a really complicated language!
It's a hard life, but it's even harder because I am a master at bringing myself down 🙈 I'm still off medication 👏👏👏, but it's hard to control my moods swings sometimes. The spiral got bigger when I read old posts that I wrote while I was manic. I can't explain what I felt, so I did what I knew best: out with the problem (trigger): bye page!
Who cares anyways, right? I suck at everything, and if I don't, it isn't perfect, so why try?

Talking about facing your biggest fear...me.

Having bipolar disorder doesn't justify a bad impulsive reaction, so I apologize once more (to whom it may concern).

I've spent the last weeks working on my writing skills, getting feedback and trying new things. The coming posts, I hope, will bring you into my trip though life with my crazy bipolar up&downs!

Enjoy 😄

Psychotic moodswings p.1

This is the first of a two-part video, sorry that it took so long, but I'm not a video maker, and it's hard for me to see myself like this too.

Don't worry, I'm fine, this is an old video.

I hope it's self-explanatory, for any questions, tips, feel free to comment.

Still to come; - 2 part video;

- Angel's podcast: an interview with some of the people that helped me during that crisis, and how to overcome it in the past, present and future...some handy tips for family members or friends who also struggle with this.

 

Enjoy.

=)

Psychotic moodswings p.2

Bipolar disorder affects people in different ways, this is what happens to me.

How does it affect you?

Don't be afraid to let yourself be seen for who and how you really are, that takes an enormous amount of courage.

As many of you maybe know, the 30th March we celebrate World bipolar day (birthday of Vincent Van Gogh). I've decided to published these videos to show another side of me that not many know, but also maybe have.

#Worldbipolarday #thisisbipolar

http://www.ibpf.org/event/world-bipolar-day-1 for more info.

I hope it's self-explanatory, for any questions, tips, feel free to comment.

Still to come:

- Angel's podcast: an interview with some of the people that helped me during that crisis, and how to overcome it in the past, present and future...some handy tips for family members or friends who also struggle with this.

 

Enjoy.

=)

Angel’s Podcast

This recording is self-explanatory: these are my friends and I talking about my most recent psychotic and manic episode, and how they helped me get better at 360°.

I wanted to share this to show how an episode can be experienced from both sides, and hopefully give enough tips for myself and others dealing with this disorder.

Today is World bipolar day, and yes, it is a celebration for me, because I'm not ashamed of being how I am.

Since I can remember I always had Up&Downs, and I actually believed that that was "normal", me, until I was diagnosed at age twenty-four.

What encouraged me to talk about it was the feeling of loneliness, tabu and stigma that came along with the diagnose. I knew that I wasn't the only one, and yet not many people find the courage to speak up.

#thisisbipolar to me, you've seen the videos and now the happy ending:

We all survived and are ready for whatever comes after.

Don't be afraid to share your story.

#Worldbipolarday 2019

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