Te vi llegar…y no supe hacer nada más que bloquearme.
Pánico.
Crash!
Abro los ojos,
Sangre.
Niños al suelo.
Sin diente.
Pensamientos que no pueden parar.
Sin sentir el dolor.
Sin entender.
Sin poder.
Con vida.
2/11/2019…
I felt so courageous this day!
I had an idea of what I wanted to do, of course, but since I always change my mind…I did!
I was so nervous and vulnerable, specially while singing, oh my God!
The amazing improvisation of Palmyre Collin (the dancer) was just the icing on the cake!
I hope that you can enjoy it as much as I did.
I feel alone, empty. No matter what I do to help myself, I can’t seem to make it stop.
I can be surrounded by all my loved ones, but still be missing you tremendously.
Pretending that I’m strong enough, that I don’t need your approval, or your love…
It costs me so much effort and energy to protect myself from you, and the thought of you.
I love you with every fiber of my body, and yet that isn’t enough.
You don’t see me.
You don’t hear me.
You don’t care.
I crave your attention, even though I have no right to do so.
I expect you to show me love, when you literally have no obligation to me.
I thought I was an important part of your life, when clearly, I’m not.
You didn’t choose me, you chose her…I just came along with it.
The sad truth is that I miss you, but most of it, what you represent to me:
Unconditional love that I never had from the man that should have given it to me, but never did.