When more means nothing…and nothing is worse

This feeling of abandonment is still here, rooted in my soul.

I feel alone, empty. No matter what I do to help myself, I can’t seem to make it stop.

I can be surrounded by all my loved ones, but still be missing you tremendously.

Pretending that I’m strong enough, that I don’t need your approval, or your love…

It costs me so much effort and energy to protect myself from you, and the thought of you.

I love you with every fiber of my body, and yet that isn’t enough.

You don’t see me.

You don’t hear me.

You don’t care.

I crave your attention, even though I have no right to do so.

I expect you to show me love, when you literally have no obligation to me.

I thought I was an important part of your life, when clearly, I’m not.

You didn’t choose me, you chose her…I just came along with it.

The sad truth is that I miss you, but most of it, what you represent to me:

Unconditional love that I never had from the man that should have given it to me, but never did.

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